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Confusing Questions

Batul Nafisa Baxamusa
Confusions created by confusing questions end up confusing one and all. Which is why we've brought you this story that has some confusing questions at their confusing best.
When boredom strikes, the best way to snap out of it is to search for inane trivia that gets your brain cells going, and manages to put a smile on your face.

Okay, if not a smile, grant these a smirk at least...
Why don't our anger flashes create enough heat to burn the fat cells in our body?
If tobacco and marijuana are plants, does smoking constitute inhaling a salad?
Wouldn't it really help if smokers stuck the nicotine patch over their mouths to effectively stop smoking?
Speaking of pants, why do we call them 'pants', if it's just one garment?
Why do we gift people when they marry? Don't you think broken-hearted people are more in need of cheering?
Why is it that women are okay with one pair of exercise shoes, but need at least 3 to match one outfit?
Since the brain tissue mostly comprises fat, will you become more intelligent if you keep eating pizzas with extra cheese?
Why do I get tensed when I am completely relaxed, and have nothing significant to do?
Why doesn't saving money make us as happy as spending money?
How does the zit know I have a hot date tomorrow?
If math thinks it is so tough on its own, why does it have to bring in the alphabets?
Don't hollow chocolate eggs suck the fun out of Easter?
Why does everything tasty have to be unhealthy?
Is it rude if you're not Facebook friends with your spouse?
Does chasing the ice cream truck count as exercise?

With all the apps in our tech-obsessed world, why don't we have one that...

...magically does our chores?

...takes revenge on a cheating ex?

...comes up with original, sarcastic returns while we're arguing?
...finds the keys when we're getting late for work?

...lends our parents/boss a sense of humor?

...stops and smells the roses for us before we die?

...tells the boss that on some days, we just don't give a damn?

...fix our appearance when a hot member of the opposite sex manifests?

All These Questions and More...

Is it true that most people in this world are alive because it is illegal to kill?
We all know that Donald Duck never wore pants. But whenever he came out of a bath, he had a towel draped around his waist. Why, oh why?
If people can easily 'walk on the clouds', why do we say that 'sky is the limit'?
Why do young women wear makeup to look older and old women wear makeup to look younger?
What do you call people who hash-tag their Facebook posts?
#moron with a #twittered #brain?????
What are the odds of you actually falling sick when you take a fake sick leave from work?
Be honest: Don't you appreciate your kids the most when you're filing your tax papers?
What would really happen if the government made decisions based on its citizens' Facebook updates?
Is it any wonder that the jokes made on celebrity marriages last longer than celebrity marriages?
Why do people complain about being on Facebook on Facebook?
Can we have a GOP candidate in the White House the next time if they don't reveal who their candidate is?
Why is shopping looked down upon when it is a fantastic economy-stimulator?
Since it is the thought that counts, can I just think about doing my office work?
If vegetarian food is healthy, are cigarettes and coffee healthy too?
Is it fair that famous people get assassinated and regular people get killed?
So these were some confusing questions creating confusion galore. Hopefully they were as confusing to you as they were for me. I'll sign off before you hit your computer, exasperated by all the confusion created by these confusing questions.